A Humorous Guide to The GUTTAR RUNNAR!!!

Ohhhh!!!!!!
After the announcement by Mythic that my class is turning into a Rune Priest, I'll be playing my Skavenz more than ever!  Yay for losing your ability to play the class you leveled!!!
Well I suppose we should go over your Gutter Runner!

This is your Gutter Runner, he is what you'd expect if Dick Cheney and Larry King had a baby, assuming they could reproduce.

What? You're saying they're both guys? Oh, you are wrong, for Dick Cheney is neither.

Lets go over the different abilities your Gutter Runner has.

#1: Weeping Blade

Hey! This is the move you will be using the most as a Gutter Runnar!  This ability does about 450-500 damage average!  Yaaaay!

This is Weeping Blade when used with a secret nerfed buttons hack I found.

Ok ok.

Press X, circle circle, X, Up, down, L2, R2, L1, L3, Triangle

And that gives you Weeping Party Blade

EYYY It's our good friend Party Dinosaur btw, wwpd (We Wub Party Dinosaur)

#2: Spin Slash

The only move in the game (Besides Ravage) that looks like an angry 12 year old hitting someone

Can't really see the kidrage in just a screenshot... I wish I had fraps on my laptop.. it's on my normal computer and I can't transfer it down.. not that I've tried...  Oh god, right, the picture.  Well Tom, it seems we have a Gutter Runner stabbing an archmage, and a yellowish fellow happily watching the murder.  If anyone has any info on who this fellow is please contact 555-Meow-Yay, back to you Tom.

#3: Leap

My favorite ability in the game other than "/cheer".. oh wait, cheer is my macro.  Then yeah this is my favorite ability in the game

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What a fantastic ability, it makes you jump over keep walls, over enemies, over the moon, over chuck norris (Almost).

Pro-tip: When you kill someone as a gutter runner and you have this move ready for you to use, you do "/S GUTTER GUTTER GUTTER RUNNAR.. AWAAAY!!!" then you use Leap, preferably over a keep wall, or just out of sight so you seem like a freaking amazing supar hero.

#4: Snare Net

What a good move!  When people are running away from your pulsing awesomeness, you throw this where they run and if it lands on them, then they are dealt 250 damage when they move, and I have killed 1/2 wbs with this ability I'm not even kidding

I would have shown you the aftermath of this screenshot, but.... order isn't so friendly when you snare net their healers.. and... Blood + Gore not allowed on this blog.... Ok maybe a bit... in the next screenshot.

But.. yeah.. pew pew snare net pew pew

#5: Gutter Run

AKA STEALTH! Now I have a screenshot.. somewhere..

"TROO, DIS IS DUMB"

Let me go! I'm making this up as I go.

But LOOK, BLAWD! LAWTS AND LAWTS OF BLAWD! MWAHAHHAHAA

and meow.

#6: Sabotage

Yeah who cares about Sabotage

#7: Running with the pack

Since stealth increases speed, this is absolutely pointless

Yeah, like this pointless.

And lastly, don't let your skaven get wasted or...

Graphics bugs For the WIN.

Poll Results 1.4 has been...

Fun: 22%

Ok: 27%

Boring: 13%

No Change: 4%

MY CAT ROLLS UP IN A BIG BALL OF FAT WHEN SHE SLEEPS, just saying: 31%

This is a post to feel space. No really. It is... Don't look... You know you don't want to..

In order to soothe your anger of my fail at posting, I'll post this picture of epic rat ogre charge.

I mean.. comon how awesome is this!! :D!!! A rat ogre running through a whole order zerg??!?! So what if I die immediatly after, it still makes me extremely happy.

Now frankly.. I have NOTHING to post about... THAT is how pathetic I am... I'm planning something big though... so... just wait...

Thecriticismoftru

Ok Eka, Ok.  You made me do this..

SUPER PANCAKESSSS

The super pancakes? No, no I wanted to do that.  Eka made me write a criticism post, even though it's not in my blood to be a critic. I asked a few other bloggers/former bloggers what they thought

Arisechicken: Thinks it's ok just too many city seiges.

Wasdstomp: Thinks it's great. "Love it"

And Ekaslime is just, well, Ekaslime...

AND for those of you wondering, Eka AND Klurkk (Wasdstomp) are both WONDERFULLY good renown, matter of fact I hit 81 on Klurkk.

But anyhow, back to my rant.  My problems with 1.4.

Though there is very many GOOD stuff about it, I'll decide to rant as I have no other post today. (SORRY GUYZ)

There are too many City seiges: I R CRITICALOFTRU, I am sorry, but it's true.  On saturday (I was on 19 hours that day... oh boy I need a life) there were a nice total of 7 city seiges (if I remember right.. at least 5 for sure).  Not that that's bad or anything.. just it stops my gutter runner ganky ganky stabby stabby.  And it can get really lame if you have no warband.

Not to mention the bug that's going on that says your instance is full please queue (To fix this, join queue and leave queue as you're running into city).  That has caused some firey arguements in region chat. And ragequits.  And I know they sorta kinda tried to stop low rank players from rolling on sovereign and stuff, but there are still lowbies who do it.  Just to be asses most of the time.  Don't get me wrong, opt out on gold bag is amazingly awesome, but I think they need to HALT all sub 40s rolling on sov. Even sub rr 50 or 60.  Not to mention people who don't have the rvr pack can roll on doomflayer and warpforged. 

And bacon.  And cats.  Don't forget Bacony Cats.

But seriously, what is the deal with the griffons/manticores you can fly on.  Theres too few of them, theres a freaking LINE for them.

"WAAAGH LETS GO KILL SOME STUNTIES!!"
"Wait!! Wait! Remember to get in line :-D"

This is a serious to god picture for waiting for flying mounts that bomb for 300 damage each hit. No, not kidding, the line even got BIGGER, and by then I was laughing so hard licorice came out of my ears. (Wait..what?)

Skaven wait times are ridiculously long.  Theres this poor black orc who any time of the day he'll be spamming in region.

"Wheres the skaven at.... Wheres the skaven at.... Wheres the skaven at... Wheres the skaven at......" you almost feel bad for him because he only enjoys gutter runner.  It's quite sad actually.  What if Tom Cruise lost his wife?  What if Scooby lost Shaggy? What if Sarah Palin lost her way of talking? Or worse... What if Amy Winehouse lost her drugs OMGWTF. 

Enough on the black orc who smokes skaven (I suppose it's better than any other drug)

Anyhow, I want my skaven, I don't want to wait 30 minutes.  And after that 30 minutes I don't want to be sitting at the spawn for 20 minutes right clicking on the portal hoping to be the first one to get skaven (average # of people waiting at a destro portal on gorfang is around 4 or 5)

80-100 was fun 80-81.  I hit 81, and now I'm just like.... god... 19 more ranks to go... and magically lost all determination.  (By the way, I hear Xylophone, AM on my server is nearing rr 85...and that was on saturday afternoon.. imagine now..)  Sure... 80-100 was designed to give me more ranks to grind.. but ... Yeah I can't complain

WORKING AS INTENDED :DDDDDDD)

Dyes: Yeah they cost too much. But they work as a nice reflector if you're crossing the street in the dark. Cars can see you easily.

Skaven Dungeon: If you don't have an rr 82 premade, you're screwed.

I've never won it once yet.

Lets ask people on gorfang who aren't bloggers what they think of 1.4

Pinkay: "DYES COST TOO DAMN MUCH"

Grotsquisha (Who dinged 80 on my wp, HA!):  "Packmasters and rat Ogres need an upgrade"

Ilthay: Says he has none, his only comment was "Do you know Karate"

Who cares.  If I try to write anymore things about anything I'll end up spamming pretty cake.

Oh yeah, one more problem.

The Rent is too Damn High.

WOW! That was SQUEAK!tastic!

When everyone's favorite dev said this about the skaven damage, I was quite disappointed, I thought that my str didn't matter to the skaven damage so all skaven did the damage I did.

Boy was I wrong.

Andy was probably like 'Wow, this healeroftru guy is retarded if he thinks gutter runners do bad damage'

And I don't blame him. 

I found out that STR did indeed matter to your Gutter Runner when two friends of mine, a marauder and a WE decided to go gank with me with gutter runners, I saw that they killed people faster than I could ever dream in my current spec.  I was doing about hits for 200-300, they were hitting for 600-700 hundred sometimes. Maybe more.

Anyhow, the past few days have been a blast (Apart from QQers spamming t4 that they're gonna quit, STFU ZAMMAEL, no one cares :D )

 But I have had the most frikkin fun I've ever had in WAR the past few days, running around as skaven playing the pretty cake song while killing people.

No joke, I play the pretty cake song in vent while I kill Bright Wizards.

I spent all day playing skavenz,

This is us speaking in our roleplaying skaven language because we're so awesome like that.

Now before I say "BUH BYE FOLKS!" I need to show you this crazy picture, I got away from a fight with 1 hp left (Yes, I survived)

And I finally discovered my tip wasn't just a myth today.

YAAAAY.

And because I was having so much fun playing and not posting, I'll need to do TWO poll results today. TWO! TWO! TWO!

Poll Results One:

Will You Buy the RvR Packs?:

Yes, Both of them.: 62%

Yes, just one of them: 7%

No: 3%

Maybe: 5%

WHO CARES??!?!!MY KITTY IS AWESOME: 20%

I answered the kitty one but I did the both of them O.O

Poll Results Two:

You will hit rr 100...

One Month: 0% (Thank god)

Within 3 months: 7%

Within a year: 20%

year +: 10%

NEVAR: 17%

He's climbin' in yo windows he's snatchin yo people up: 35%

I will in 6 months - a year I bet.

AND... I AM OUTTA HEERRREEE

Skaven Love Stories

Once upon a time Yesterday in Dragonwake, everyone's favorite MDPS reroll Torgaan turned into a skaven in the destro DW WC. I think order should use torgaan as a distraction to get destro off the rvr lakes, because we had freaking 1/2 the server crowded around him sitting in awe as if they've never seen a damned Witch Hunter in their lives.  I decided I should probably do a madden sketch for this showing how many people COULD NOT kill the orange-named torgaan.

See all those greendots? See that red dot? See the blue dot? The blue dot is me causes I needed to feel special.  Now look at the red dot torgaan, he was not rvr flagged. 

Now, I wish he had flagged accidentally because that would have been EPIC. One second he woulda been all skaveny, and the next, it would have been PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW. dead.

After he ran out of the WC, I had to chase him as a skaven, I chased him all around Dragonwake just so I could have a chance at saying hi.  If you think about it, it was like a giant skaven love story.

It was awesome fun, until he mysterously disappeared, then I went to my WH on badlands to get inside the destro warcamp and be special like torgaan (SUCCESS btw)

Guild Dance Parties

Today was my 1st day doing RvR in a few days and I thought it would be boring.

It was.

Really.

It was boring.

The end! Good bye.

Just kidding.  Today wasn't bad at all.  In Caledor there was some pretty good rvr,  not that I participated.  More of running around and doing nothing.

After running around a bit, I came up behind torgaan and Stabbed him in the back with beef jerky spammed /cheer at him while running around as a skaven.  I really thought he would then invis then come friend behind me and kill me faster than.. faster then.. uhh... I have no comparison.  I thought he would just kill me fast.  But instead to my pleasure, he turned into a skaven and started running around too. Luckily before we got wiped (Which you will see an imitation of in the screenshot) I got a nice screenshot so I can show off.

I tried VERY hard to save Torgaan.  But my efforts went unnoticed as a bunch of destro nom nommed him up.  Poor Torgaan.

Now for the $250,000 dollar question...

My next screenshot is...

1. 
   
   A party
2. 
   
   A voodoo ritual
3. 
   
   duck duck goose game
4. 
   
   Muffins
5. 
   
   All of the above

You're all wrong the answer is "A guild meeting" but I really thought this was the most epiczorz guild meeting I've ever seen. There were banners in the middle, 1/2 of them all were naked, There was dinosaurs, ect.

It looked like the biggest WAR party I'd ever seen.

I was really tempted to stab them in the back with beef jerky run in with my guild banner and just slam it down and start doing /dance and /cheer.  But I knew that would probably not be good.  I think my guild should from now on do our guild meetings like this.  It would make me the happiest dok in the whole entire world.